Carolyn's Daily Posts: 2011

March 6, 2011

The Family Facilitator


CAROLYN’S DAILY POSTS: 2011

THE FAMILY FACILITATOR

In most families, one sibling, usually a sister, takes on the role of facilitator. She’s the one who hosts family gatherings, keeps the other siblings informed and makes sure the family stays close.*

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     In my nuclear, growing-up-with family, I don’t consider myself the facilitator. After all, I live hours away from where the other siblings live. Also, our family is split up: one sister I grew up with; one set of five half-siblings that began arriving when I was eleven years old (I became their caretaker, not their sister); another group of five siblings I didn’t meet until I was in my thirties, and a group of step-siblings I barely know. What a motley crew to try to pull together for a family reunion! If there were such a gathering, I certainly would like to be a fly on the wall.

     Recently there was an addition to the mix, We were recently discovered by a sister who was placed for adoption by our mother.

     Currently, to bring the new sibling into the family, I have become the facilitator, because I was the first contact person. I made the first notifications to the twelve siblings gained by the new sister.

     It’s been a challenging position to be in, considering all the splits in the family, as well as the fact that each one of us experienced our Mother at vastly different times of her life, and we each had different experiences with her.

     Yes, I am now a facilitator in my very fractured family. I am working to fulfill my role with openness and honesty, which will at times be painful to some persons, and create anger toward m. Perhaps, in the end, better, stronger, relationships will develop among the siblings.

     I certainly hope so. That’s the healthy goal of a facilitator.

SOURCE 

*Annie’s Mailbox, Greensburg Tribune-Review, February 15, 2011, pp. D5

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ADDITIONAL READING:

March days to celebrate

I Wear My Cornell (University) Jacket Proudly

Cochran Cornell Caught on Flypaper: Part 1

The Legacy of Hopedale, Massachusetts

www.carolyncholland.wordpress.com

www.beanerywriters.wordpress.com

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